About Morte

Well Nyx has pretty much summed up what’s going on here. I have always been a “big” lad, ever since I left south africa with my family to egypt, I have just been putting on weight, I recently moved house and going through all my crap that has accumulated over the years I found a single photo of myself just before I left and couldn’t believe I ever looked like that. In the span of 6 years I gain 100kgs/220lbs due to my eating habits. At that stage I never realised how much weight I put on until I really started to take an interest in the opposite sex. It hit me like a rock and I tried to loose it all, but I was expecting the weight to shed off quickly and when it didn’t I would get depressed and that lead to more eating. Only since coming back to South Africa and having the “limitations” that I had on me did I start. I had a great childhood but coming back to a country after being away for close on a decade all your friends are gone, so I got complacent with my life as I had it (work, play some online games, sleep and repeat). I didn’t have any “energy” to get rid of the weight then. Now that I have made quite a few friends its a different story. Don’t get me wrong I am not doing it to fit in/ look good for others. I am doing this for me, my self esteem is submerged deep at the earths core because of it. I want to be able to go into a store and see a shirt I like and not HAVE to go looking for a XXXL and not finding anything above a large. At times I don’t see myself as being fat, I can’t be walking through the shopping centers with a water when all of a sudden I get a glimpse of my reflection, becoming self conscious about it, I start to find excuses why I cannot be there to go “hide” at home. I don’t want this which is why I am going on this adventure with Nyx. Gyming for me, for now will really only consist of cardio until I loose roughly 35kgs/77lbs then I will bulk up just a slight tad so I don’t look scrawny. That’s is my goal but if I loose more I will not complain 😛

M