What We’re Doing…

Morte and I were chatting last night about how we feel, and how we look.  We’re both unhappy about ourselves and I suggested a challenge between the two of us.  Why don’t we push each other to go to the gym, eat better foods and (in Morte’s case) drink less? It would be way more fun to do this together, and we can help each other.  Workout buddies for the win!

There is only one real downside to this plan.

Morte lives in South Africa, I live in Canada, and there is way too much distance to actually push ourselves to go, so I suggested a blog to help motivate us.

Every time we go to the gym, we’re going to blog about it.  Every time we find a yummy, healthy food, we’re going to blog about it.  Every week when we weigh-in, and I take my measurements, we’re going to blog about it. If Morte doesn’t post his workouts and his food, I’m going to blog yell at him, and I expect him to do the same to me.  We’re in this together.

For me, this experience isn’t about what you see.  I don’t care if you think I have too many curves, this is my body and I need to be happy with it.  I’m working out and eating healthier because I want to be healthy.  I want to look in the mirror and know that I worked myself so hard that I’ve made myself healthy again.  I can do that, but I need your help, as my reader, and I need Morte’s help to keep pushing me to reach my goals and be a stronger, healthier person than I am now.

We’re officially starting this Fitness Adventure on Monday, May 2, 2011. The first post from the both of us will be our stats:

Height:
Weight:
Stomach:
Hips:
Thigh:
Arm:

We’ll measure each part and post the totals to give ourselves a starting point, and weekly we’ll post the new totals so you can see our progress. Our goals will be posted with our starting point stats as well, so we can keep on track.

Don’t let us fall off the track, reader. Feel free to comment your encouragement to us!

About Nyx

I have been told my whole life that I’m fat, but everyone was wrong about that.  I’m not fat, and I have only ever been fat once in my life.

I believed them anyway.

I stand just over 5’1.  As a kid, I used to stretch my height out to 5’2, but I’m proud to be short now.  I weigh somewhere between 146-156 lbs, depending on the week, and I’m not ok with that.

I am told every day by former co-workers and former friends that I look amazing these days, but that’s only because they remember what I looked like a few years ago, and how far I’ve come.

I was 250 lbs in 2008, although I didn’t look more than 210-220 lbs.  The day I stepped on the scale and realized just how much weight I’ve gained was probably the hardest and most devastating day of my life.  I cannot remember a time when I felt more self-defeated, more depressed with who I was than that day.  That sensation…that feeling has lived with me for the last 3 years, and I don’t think I will ever forget it.

I have always been so concerned with my weight, but now it’s become an obsession.  In 2005, I weighed 135 lbs, I was skinny, pretty, smart, funny, and for the first time in my life I was “popular”.  I didn’t realize how much weight is part of how people relate to you until I felt both extremes.  When I was skinny, people loved me, when I was fat, people avoided me and ignored me.  I hated that feeling, but I hate them more for making me feel that way.

I decided to do this adventure for myself, and not anyone else.  This isn’t about what YOU see, it’s about how I FEEL…

When I look in the mirror…

When I try on new clothes…

When I go outside this summer in shorts and a tank top…

I want to feel beautiful because I am healthy, not because people like me better when I’m skiny.  I’m going to get healthy.  I’m going to be able to jog 5 km next year without having to stop.  I’m going to be awesome because I want to be.  I am 100% confident that I can do this and NOTHING is going to stand in my way.